everyday vegan

okay, yeah, as a continuation of my bridge obsession...

this is the 59th street bridge  in beautiful nyc...

and this is the 59th street bridge song.

and it's pretty groovy. 

even though i enjoy cheese. a lot....

like... A LOT. 

i have made one of the greatest life decisions. 

i'm going to be vegan. 

like, a vegetarian who doesn't eat cheese. 

or yogurt, or milk, or eggs, or butter, or jell-o, or chicken broth.

or cheese. 

i love cheese. 

is it unethical to not be an ethical vegan? because ethical vegans don't use glue. or crayons.

and i like crayons almost as much as i like cheese. almost. 

and apparently i'm not allowed to call myself vegan if i use crayons.

so i guess i'm just your everyday unethical vegan.... 

goodbye:(

bridge obsession

i have this new obsession with bridges. i love them. so much.

it may or may not have something to do with the fact that i'm going to portland in a month. portland is full of bridges. portland is also my favorite.

there's also this really cute one outside my bedroom window. it crosses an irrigation ditch. (welcome to utah)

but the ditch got filled, so it just crosses... dirt. pretty(:

this one is my favorite. i am very emotionally attached to it. when i was little, we crossed it almost every day.

i mean, it was the first bridge i ever crossed. ever. in my entire existence. i was born on one side of the bridge, and we lived on the other. it's very special and near to my heart.



are you laughing? cuz that would be very rude.

and this one...isn't it so pretty?

and look at that gorgeous oregon sky.

i miss clouds. real clouds. and i also miss bridges.

we would cross this one and go to the rose festival parade. i was positive it would lift up while we were on and then our car would fall in the river. it was traumatic.


and anyway... i really like bridges. and in july, i will be in the city of bridges and i will relive my childhood.

sort of.

and i'll just be happy, because i'll be close to a bridge. actually, lots of bridges.

and really, the only reason i like bridges is because i like rivers. because rivers are water and water is life.

and i like life.

sometimes...

you find out things about yourself. and you're like...

yep.

that's totally me. why did it take me so long to realize?

p.s. please ignore the cruel and unusual previous post. 

today. it clicked. okay, so here's a little back story first. 

sometimes, i get on facebook just to zone out. seriously, i'm really not that interested in what my "friends" have to say to the world. i currently have 556. i talk to... 12 of them? i mean, it's nice to see what those 12 are up to while we are all out in the world and on our various adventures throughout the summer. i mean... what they're up to on their various adventures. my adventures remain strictly in utah valley and have yet to become "various"


and anywho, that's beside the point. the whole point of that was to say that i get on facebook to zone out. ponder. do something depthless.

i get a lot of thinking done on facebook. (that's the point.)

so today. it clicked. i realized that if you push me, i'm not going to do what you want me to do. i'm also not going to push back.

i'll probably end up getting up and walking the other direction.

figuratively.

possibly literally?

and that's the way i am. and that's why pushy people make me really grumpy.

unless i like them, then i'm only just grumpy. not really grumpy.

so, don't push me, and i won't run away from you. deal?

deal.

whatever people say i am, that's what i'm not.

(okay i stole the title from the Arctic Monkeys, big whoop.)


sometimes i remember who i used to be.

she was a pretty stupid person.

i can take criticism, i can. it eats me up inside. every. single. time.

but then, i get over it, and it's not a big deal and i move on with my life and try to be okay.

but seriously.

you can tell me how to live my life. you can tell me who to talk to and who not to. you can tell me to be better at being social and to get myself out more and to be a happy bubbly person and be nice to everybody.

guess what?

i am going to be aubrey. 


the end. maybe she'll fit into your criteria, maybe she won't. if it bugs you, not a big deal. she's just herself.

do.
not.
tell.
me.
what.
to.
do.

okay? okay.

let's be friends(:

On Friendship and Judgement

I was the recipient of a good hard mental slap to the face, along with an emotional punch in the gut this week.

W.A.-Way Awesome.

Sometimes when you're a high school student, you think things about people subconsciously, and don't even realize it.

And that was also redundant. You're a cool kid, Aubrey.

Anyways, I had never even met this girl. I'd seen her in the halls at school and, since I am a human being naturally prone to pride, I thought less of her than I should have. Without going into detail, she seemed like the kind of girl who would drag you down into her unconcealed pit of misery if she could. How awful I feel. I learned this week, thanks to a buddy and my mental slap, that she was a lot stronger, and more courageous than anybody could see.

She had been adopted as a preteen. Her parents didn't like her, and kicked her out. She's now living in a motel with her sister and her sister's boyfriend. She's trying to make it through high school even though her learning disability gets in the way. She doesn't know how exactly she's going to make ends meet when she's out of high school.

I now have much more respect for her, and much less respect for me.





On a happier note, I have this awesome friend :) She's pretty good at talking to anybody. And everybody. All the time. She saved two lives in one day.

First, she saved a little boy, ok he's a (not so little) senior, who was sitting all by himself  at lunch. I tried to get the guts to go be his friend, but the awfully awkward situation kept playing through my head. That's when my awesome friend came to the rescue. She went up and talked to him, and they didn't stop talking. After I finished my lunch, I talked to him too.

He's W.A.-Way Awesome.

His name is Daniel, and he competes internationally with an Air Force drill team. He also writes freelance, and just had an article published in an Egyptian newspaper. His mile time is 6:23. You should all be friends with him.

Then she saved my life just a few hours later after my gut punch. Sometimes when you're me, you get your hopes up, or totally perceive something in the wrong way, and then it all ends with traumatic tragedy. That's what awesome friends are for. Especially when they drive you to your sister's house in Provo at 10 at night and hold your hand the whole way.

I.L.Y.L.R.- I Love You Lauren Roylance