Personal

Maybe showering is a personal event. Okay, it is. And one may think that the sole purpose of a shower is to get clean.

But, when one is a Thespian, One's shower is spent memorizing lines. And they always seem to sound so much better. It must be the acoustics.

"Alright ladies, I think that's enough. Why don't you go on home, and be back here at sundown ready to dance your hearts out."

Its a mouthful, I know. But my hillbilly accent, inflections, and other details sounded so much better last night in the shower than they did onstage this morning, so I've now come up with a Master Plan of Destruction.

Minus the destruction.

Plan A: Record myself giving my lines in the shower, then play them back on the sound system, and lip sync.

Plan B: Refer back to Plan A.

Its foolproof!

Showers are also great for playing pretend. I even have a 12-step program for a joyful, relaxing, out-of-body showering experience.

Step 1: Go to Wal-Mart
Step 2: Buy Suave Naturals Refreshing Waterfall Mist shampoo and conditioner
Step 3: Take a shower with the lights off (Make sure you have a window in your bathroom)
Step 4: Do everything you normally do in the shower, saving conditioner for very last
Step 5: Put in conditioner
Step 6: Sit on the floor of your shower, facing away from the head
Step 7: Pull your knees up to your chest and close your eyes
Step 8: Imagine you are in the Amazon
Step 9: Imagine you are stuck in a monsoon in the Amazon
Step 10: Think about all the good things in your life
Step 11: Imagine you are safe being stuck in a monsoon in the Amazon (i.e. don't imagine lethal animals/fish/insects/etc. crawling up the drainpipe.)
Step 12: Make sure the conditioner is completely out of your hair before you get out

Its a wonderful program, and I try to enjoy it at least 3 times a week.

(Ahhhh.)