Nostalgia

The Cool Thing About Having an Elmo-themed surprise party is that even though you have the basics figured out already, the details are very much a surprise.

I mean, I put on my Elmo T-shirt for no apparent reason and lumbered up the stairs. My mom probably thought: Wait....What? 
My thought process was most likely somewhere along these lines:
Oh, that surprise party is today
Um, I feel lazy
I'll just wear this Elmo shirt because I'll have time to actually get ready later
Wow, I haven't worn this shirt in a while
Should I wear those red keds?
No, that would look dorky

Once I was upstairs, that shirt "Sparked [my mom's] memory" and had my dad bring out an identical red Elmo hoodie that they had "forgotten" to give me on my birthday. I totally fell for it. Please don't look at that gross just-barely-out-of-the-shower face. Haha and can you see that wonderful British Lit textbook I have?

 Love.


I totally knew I was helping my sister watch her baby so my mom could set up the party. But I thought it was at my friend's house not my neighbor's so that was surprise number one. I was also unaware that this party had been intentionally Elmo from the beginning, surprise number two.

Surprise number three, I'm not photogenic. At all. But that's not really a surprise, okay?

Hooray for birthdays, and cake :)

And a shout out to my wonderful mother and sister who both threw me off pretty good....well? Which one would you use for that?

I Love Being Sick

The best part about being sick is the part when you don't have to deal with people you don't feel like dealing with. The second best part about being sick is the part when you have the house mostly to yourself but you don't feel obligated to clean it. The third best part about being sick is the part when you can eat real normal human food for lunch at home. But my most favorite part is when your stomach hurts, but you look at this picture and laugh so your stomach hurts even more:

Hey guys! My birthday was yesterday! Sweet Sixteen and never been missed, my mom said. It was the best ever. I even got a pillow pet. And some crayons, and some lotion, and some earrings, and some tickets to that David Archuleta Christmas concert, and some horchata. Oh, and a dress for the Christmas dance, but who are we kidding? I haven't been asked and it's in a week.

Which reminds me... the best part about having a school with Gryffindor colors is having a Christmas dance called the Yule Ball. Life probably doesn't get any better. 



Too bad I'm in Ravenclaw...

Widor and I have a Thing

For those of you illiterate when it comes to everything organ,
(it's okay, I once was too) Charles-Marie Widor is my favoritest organ composer. We are totally in love, even if he's dead. I am currently listening to his Allegro, From Sixth Symphony. It is my goal piece, and it's also very moving. Look it up on youtube. It's totally worth it. (I'm not a big fan of the frequent change in volume of that version, but you get the idea)

All right, now that we've got that burst of nerdiness behind us...

I didn't make it to my birthday. I'm back on facebook... I forgot how angry it made me. Oh well.

I was falling asleep last night at 8:30 because I was mad and exhausted and peeved and feeling ganged up on and lonely and a bit depressed when I had one of those wonderful epiphanies you get every so often. Want to hear about it?

There's meaning behind everything. Okay, everybody knows that, but seriously. You know, there's probably a reason I love The Beatles. I probably will be in the middle of making some serious life decisions when a Beatles song will come on and make the decision for me. They probably have some lyric somewhere that will hit home and keep me from doing something terribly horrid. Or terrid, like Creedence would say. :) I probably am head over heals in love with the organ for some reason beyond what you can see on the outside. Honestly, I couldn't tell you why I love the organ so much. I love the challenge, I love the contrast and color it brings to a single piece of music, I love the mathematics behind the sounds it makes, I love the emotion, but that's not REALLY why I like it. I don't know, I just do. Maybe there are some people I need to meet, some life I need to touch, some lesson I need to learn by playing the organ. I have no idea... but there are definitely some people I couldn't imagine or bear life without who I would've never met if it hadn't been for the organ.

I had a lot more I wanted to add to this list last night, but... that was 23 hours ago. Thanks for listening.

Happy Cyber Monday!

Hmmm

I came back!

And wow, high school is stressful. But I'm going to try and post more regularly. Is every three months not regular enough for you? 

Ha! I've been looking at cake wrecks a lot recently. She's hilarious, and so are those cakes. My, my, my.

I'm on a facebook fast again. I can't remember when I started, but I'm getting back on my birthday (which is in T-5 days!)

I watched No Impact Man yesterday, and that was amazing. The profanity is a little, um, overwhelming? But its still amazing. Plus, you get sent on a guilt trip for every single piece of trash you throw away!

My friend moved to Arizona two years ago. I still haven't forgiven him, but, he moved back and showed up on my door step yesterday. It was wonderful!

I watched the new Harry Potter last night. The camera movement gave me a headache...but that was a Harry Potter movie like I've never seen before. Wow. 

Which of course, made me have a very intense dream. An earthquake shook the Governor's house to shambles, a bomb went off in the Houses of Parliament, and my gondola got eaten by a shark. Then I was forced to take a class from Professor Flitwick, who taught me that the English language was inspired by geese playing in a pond. If anyone can translate dreams, please help me! I'm still confused. 

There's a little update on my life. Not too awful I hope.

No Title

See that annoying little annoying photobucket thing? Well I can't make it go away, so I'm sorry, you'll just have to deal with it.

Oh, and p.s. I lost my camera in California. I had a funeral for it. So, if any of you are willing to donate to The Aubrey Needs a New Camera Fund, please do. :)


I start high school in 8 days. Yep. I'm scared. But it'll be good, even if I got called crazy for taking AP Music Theory. Its okay, I like being crazy.

I'm wearing purple pajamas with fruits all over them.  They just ripped. I made them 5 years ago. That's depressing.

I beat my brother-in-law, Joey, at chess last night. I haven't played in 2 years. I'm very proud of myself.  Thanks you, Fritz, (the little boy in the computer game) for ingraining chess skills into my sub-cranium.

And now, I must do some online schoolwork, because I plan on being smart when I graduate. tee hee.

Well...

Here I am, sipping my honey-vinegar water and waiting for my sinus infection to hit the road. Seriously, these things are lethal, and I'm willing to try ANYTHING. But I'm listening to Lily Allen, so things are somewhat ok. I'm just hoping to kick it out before I leave....

Have a little catch-up session with me:
I'm leaving to SoCal for a week to play the organ. My best friend isn't going. But he was going to...sad.
I'm flying from California to Lubbock to hang out with my sis and the fam. Yay!
The we're driving to the Grand Canyon, and up to Vegas. I've never been there, can you imagine?
THEN we're driving home. Well, my home.
And, I just finished my nast glass of vinegar...aren't you proud? :)

I am Aubrey Fitzgerald, and...yeah.

Its Been A While...

Like, almost a month. woops. Its been quite an eventful month though, let me tell you.

First of all, trek. What teenager would want to wear pioneer clothes and sleep under the stars and pull handcarts into the wee hours?

Ha. Mormon kids do!:)

And it was a blast, and I loved every part of it, even down to the port-a-johns and the dirt under my fingernails. 

Next up, Girls Camp.

What teenage girls want to go up in the mountains for a week and sleep in tents 2 days after they got back from trek?

Ha. Mormon girls do!:)

We sang annoyingly repetitive campfire songs (C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G Song!) and rafted down the Provo River. (Our guide is opening up an Irish taco shop in Provo next month, yippee!) and ended with a wonderful testimony meeting, definitely my best Girls Camp yet :)

(Let me introduce you to spidey-gangster-camper, aka yours truly)

And Then I Went Home And Slept...

I am Aubrey Fitzgerald, and I enjoy my bed. 

[ Insert Cry of Frustration Here]

I have to do something I don't want to do.
I'm not being forced into it, but its the knowing that there is something unknown, a mystery that I will never solve unless I do this thing I don't want to do.
I am a future-looker, which is why I'm where I'm at, but that is beside the point. If I was not a future-looker, I would not have to do this thing I don't want to do.
It all goes back to this "accused" thing. I am misunderstood, people judge me for who I am. But I would most definitely rather be criticized for who I am than loved for who I'm not.

And so, I am going to do this thing I don't want to do.

"I'll put on my best and
I'll stick out my chest and
I'm off to the races again."


I am Aubrey Fitzgerald, and I WILL do hard things.

Today I

Today I woke up to Channing Tatum hanging on my wall. He is beautiful. Today will be a good day.
            p.s. this all didn't happen today, its just...figurative?
Today I spent time with my drooling, giggling nephew. He is beautiful too. Today will be a good day.
Today I went to the temple. It was wonderfully spiritual. Today will be a happy day.
Today I helped someone feel the spirit. My fingers listen to the spirit better than I do. Today will be a happy day.
Today I saw the good in someone who has made bad choices. It made him beautiful to me. Today will be a wonderful day.
Today I made the shy girl laugh. I think we're going to be friends. Today will be a wonderful day.
Today I was patient
Today I held my tongue 
Today I smiled for someone else
Today someone else smiled too
Today I focused on the good parts
Today I thought life was colorful
Today I thought life was wonderful


I am Aubrey Fitzgerald, and today I am an optimist.  

Half Full

I've been accused.

One doesn't just escape that predicament in the 21st century.  To the world, I am unenthusiastic, irritable, shallow, half-hearted, vain, clumsy, bored, ugly, who knows what else.
But mostly, to the world, I am misunderstood.

Maybe I just don't want to shout out what I feel to humanity.

Some have complained that I'm ditzy, that I only care about the outside. Some have said I'm not pretty enough.

But I'm not letting that get to me anymore. I am me, and I am extraordinary.


I am Aubrey Fitzgerald, and I have not lost my muchness.

When I Was Young

I did not fully grasp the concept of being little when I was. I was always interesting in growing up, pretending I was somebody else, somebody older.
My name was Bailey, or Ashley, depending on the day. I was a princess, banished for jumping rope in a dress. I made my own kingdom, where Ken, Barbie and My Little Pony were my subjects, and we all lived happily ever after.
Then I was called up for dinner.

Now that I'm older I wish I was young. Most people do, don't they? But not young physically, or mentally, just young in spirit. I envision that girl I'm going to be. The one who helps people be better without even trying, the one who dies you because her work here is finished. I want to be the one who chooses babysitting over a party, the one who still colors in coloring books, just because she does. I am a girl who does what she does because she can.

I am Aubrey Fitzgerald, and I can do anything.

Summer Lovin'

The things I love about summer. Oh, the list could go on.
The sound of sprinklers, for one thing, is the most relaxing sound. It makes me miss my five-year-old body and that sunflower swimming suit I used to live in.
Number two, sunkissed skin. I just like the word sunkissed. The sun is warm, kissing in romantic...being tan is just a warm, romantic thing.
Number three, flip flops. That's all I have to say. Except toe hair is nasty.
Number four, sleeping. I love feeling groggy. Is that weird? But I especially love being warm and in my bed.
Number five, walking barefoot. Its like I'm becoming one with the earth.
Number six, star gazing. Just picture yourself laying on your back in the cool grass, with the crickets chirping nearby and the silver clouds parting for you so you can look at the holes in the curtains of heaven.
Those are just six things, but they're six gorgeous things.

I am Aubrey Fitzgerald, and I am addicted to summer.

Ambitions

I have plans. Yep. Little old me is going to make this world into something extraordinary. I'm going to play violin and organ and piano and wow the world just to get a scholarship.
Then I'll follow in the family's footsteps and immerse myself in BYU culture for a while.
I will then meet a man, preferably resembling Ashton Kutcher and we'll get married. He's going to be a smartie.
He'll get some kind job in Portland. We'll pack up the kids and move to a quaint little house in Lake Oswego. It will be lovely.

I like making plans, have you noticed? Oh, P.S. I'm gong to Juilliard somewhere in the mix. Maybe write a little movie music or perform with a big famous symphony orchestra, like the New York Philharmonic.
I wish I played the cello or tenor sax. Those are the two most beautiful sounds in the world. My man, the one who looks like Ashton Kutcher, he's going to play the cello. Sounds hot, doesn't he?

I am Aubrey Fitzgerald, and my life is going to be Grand.

Yahoo vs. Google

Can I...
Google: have your number?
Yahoo: have this dance? lyrics
Google.

How To...
Google: train your dragon
Yahoo: lose weight
Google.

Does Your...
Google: chewing gum lose flavor on the bedpost overnight? lyrics
Yahoo: chain hang low?
Google.

What To Do When...
Google: your bored.
Yahoo: pulled over.
Yahoo. Especially since Google has incorrect grammar.

What is the...
Google: longest word in the english language?
Yahoo: montaulk monster?
Yahoo.

Where...
Google: Is my cell phone?
Yahoo: The Wild Things Are
Google.

P.S. if you remember my lyrics mash awhile ago, and you thought it was cool check out my neighboring/rivalry (?) high school's way cool lip dub to DJ Earworm's Blame it on the Pop

I Thank God for Sunsets

Tonight I saw one of the most beautiful things in the world.  And so, of course, I took a million pictures, but these ones were the best.

I got to thinking how amazing God is, and how He just randomly blesses us with something so miraculous as a sunset.

This is one of the times the world proves that there is undoubtedly a God. I don't know what you believe, but I want you to know that I believe that God is there.

And he loves us enough to give us Sunsets.  

Go here for more on what I believe...

Winds of Change

Ahhhhh.

No more school, no more books, no more teachers' dirty looks.

I have decided to make some changes in my life, so I am currently on Facebook hiatus. Most likely until girls camp, which is at the end of next month. No more Facebook stalking.

I am also on a fast from High Fructose Corn Syrup. That nasty stuff...its in everything! No more bread, candy, juice.

And finally, I will only be watching 3 hours of TV and 3 movies a week. No more couch potato.

Who needs to sit on their couch like a fat slob when they could be running around in the glorious, wonderful sun?

And looking at pretty flowers?

Also, I'd like to inform you all that the AGO has awarded me a scholarship to attend the Orange County POE in July.

For those of you who are dense when it comes to organs (hey, its okay, I know most of you are) POE stands for Pipe Organ Encounter. You pretty much run around big cities playing big organs. Its way fun.

Currents:

Color: Burnt Orange

Song: I Know Heavenly Father Loves Me

Favorite: Sun

Food: Anything free of corn syrup!

Wish: My allergies would beat it.

Word: Pulchritudinous 

I am Aubrey and my life is wonderful. Because I coloured it that way. 

Summer Lovin'

Today marks a giant step in the history of my life.

I am now, (well almost) a sophmore. And will be attending an actual high school.

Miraculous.

But for now, I shall lay around all day watching TV and going to girls camp and other such things...
And going to amazing parties with wonderful people...

Just a quick thought, I'm going to go enjoy my summer now.

I Have Decided...

...That I have no clue what I'm going to do with my life.

Music, undoubtedly. But what kind? Piano? Organ? Violin?

PS Paul McCartney just sang Hey, Jude on my TV. I wanna go! I wanna go! anyway...

Do I compose music? Or teach it? What if I wrote songs for artists?

What If I Wanted To Study Astronomy?

You see, as a young child, I enjoyed the sky. I even went to Outer Space Summer School, for heaven's sake! But I lost it somewhere on the way, until I went to BYU's Planetarium today, and I remembered what I used to love and wondered why I forgot about it.

So Now...Who knows?

Currents:

Color: Sea foam green 

Song: Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz

Favorite: Lagoon :)

Food: Peanut Butter M&M's

Wish: I wouldn't throw up so much

Word: Cacophony

My Life Is Average

Here's some good ones I've found recently--

Today in class, my professor had stapled McDonalds applications to the tests of all the people who failed. MLIA.

Today, I sneezed in class. It would have been normal, but i had said ' pika' before I had done so. My classmates started clapping for me. MLIA. 

Today, as i was practicing my trumpet, when a lonely jogger comes down the street looking like Rocky Balboa, I quickly open my window and start playing "Got to fly now" the Theme Song to Rocky Balboa the man stops looks around smiles and starts jogging in and jogs off with a look of self confidence, I now feel accomplished at helping someone. MLIA

Today I learned that I'm the exact average height and weight for a girl my age. Too bad I'm a guy. MLIA.

Today, while walking to class, I noticed a "Wet Paint" sign on the wall, so, naturally, I touched it. When I got to class, I noticed six other people, including the professor, had beige paint smudges on their hands. We're in an Honours Biology course. MLIA 



Today, I was sitting in my grandmother's livingroom, crocheting a blanket for my room. I look over to see my grandma on her facebook. I feel that somewhere along the lines, the tables have turned. MLIA.

Today is Justin Bieber's birthday. Today is also Ron Weasley's birthday. I think we all know who wins here... MLIA 

Hm

I have a hard time with people who have no respect.
Just throwin that out there.

I mean, really, guys? You're not the only person on the planet.

Ok, venting over.

We watched a movie in science that had nothing to do with anything biology-related at all. And the animation hurt my eyes. But it was a good movie, nonetheless, and I now have a strange desire to go plant a bunch of trees everywhere. It'll make somebody happy.

I've never felt like crying for so many different reasons all at once before. Because sometimes people are just mean. I'm sure most of them aren't trying to be mean, but...life's not fair. Because sometimes people blow you off. Or act like your feelings don't matter. Sometimes you try to be professional and responsible about something and the other person just doesn't show up. Sometimes you really need someone you love to just listen to you, but then they're "too busy" with something that doesn't seem that important. Sometimes you're going to miss someone more than words can describe. Sometimes someone says something so touching and wonderful and true that you feel like bawling your eyes out. Sometimes you want so badly to tell somebody something so important that you feel like bursting, but then you just can't get it out.

And those are the many reasons I feel like crying today.

Currents:

Color: Gray

Song: Vulnerable by Secondhand Serenade

Favorite: Sweatpants

Food: Tang (ok, that's a drink)

Wish: I was somewhere else for a while

Word: Follow-through

Good Morning

I'm only posting this morning because I woke up on my own. At 6.

And my hair only took about 2 minutes to do because I have made the discovery of...

French Braids!
They're wonderful, and I've got to tell you about them. I started french braiding my hair at night so I would have something to do with my hands while I read my scriptures. But now, I braid it while its dry, and then it turns into this natural-looking, somewhat poofy, super cute hair! and it only takes about 2 minutes! So I'm happy.


I'll post later since I have to go, just thought I'd clue you all in on my breakthrough.

Currents:

Color: Pink
Song: Mardy Bum by Arctic Monkeys
Favorite: French braids
Food: toothpaste...?
Wish: That I could eat food in the morning
Word: Peradventure

I Enjoy Love

I went to Letters to Juliet today,

For the second time.

Oh my, good movie. That's how I will find the love of my life. His Gran will be in search of a long lost love, and we'll fall in love on the adventure. 

In Italy, of course.

(and he's adorable, just like my husband will be. aww)

Wow, now this blog is starting to sound like a cinema review. Uh-uh. Next topic. 

I'm thinking of going on Facebook hiatus. All you Facebookers know, it overruns your life. And the only way I know how to stop myself is to deactivate my account and realize that other teenagers in the world cope without facebook every single day. Even without internet, although I don't understand how anyone could live without some sort of internet access. Its terrible.

I think I'll do a little charity mission and bring internet to African teens. :)

I was thinking today about acne. Why? Why must the zits form on our face? Why couldn't they be on the backs of our thighs, or someplace likewise unnoticeable. But no, we must come face-to-face with them every day. (No pun intended)

Why don't they come up with facebook solely for teens, and call it Zitbook, or PimpleSpace...Acnetube.

There could be an entire world for those who suffer!

Okay, so acne isn't really suffering, it's much, much, better than not having an arm, or losing a loved one. 

So, I'm actually going to say this. Acne is a blessing, it helps along the realization of true beauty. 

The World Needs More Of That.

Currents:

Color: Green

Song: Billionaire by Travie McCoy

Favorite: Ranch Dressing 

Food: My mom's new broccoli salad creation 

Wish: I had clearer skin

Fun and Mental is Fundamental

If you aren't a little kid inside, and don't know where I go the title, its from 

Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium.

I highly recommend this movie, unless you don't understand symbolism, or anything deeper than the surface. Its a wonderful film about realizing what you really can do, and who you can become.

I love it :)

Anyway...

Currents:

Color: Yellow

Song: Hurtful by Erik Hassle 

Mood: Commencing 

Favorite: Crayons

Food: Popcorn drenched in butter

Wish: It was 12 days from now

Currants:

(tee-hee)

Perfect World

In my perfect world, everybody would be honest; completely honest about how they feel.

There would be no government, because people would be decent, and capable of handling themselves. They wouldn't be dependent on anyone.

There would be forgiveness.

We wouldn't have a military, because there wouldn't be war.

Everyone would stay out of each others' business.

There would be nothing natural about disaster.

Life would be non-violent.

And Cherished.


Summer is so close I can taste it. I love the feeling of doing something cliche in the midst of my unpredictable life. Today I laid under a tree with a good book, and slept in the sun. It was breathtaking. The pillowy, billowing clouds putt along out my picture window. Birds hop in the crab-apple tree harmonizing with the world.

There's something about the sound of a light breeze rustling the trees...

This world is already perfect.

He gave me my eyes that I might see
The color of butterfly wings.
He gave me my ears that I might hear
The magical sound of things.
He gave me my life, my mind, my heart,
I thank Him reverently,
For all His creations of which I'm a part...

Yes, I Know Heavenly Father Loves Me.

Renew

So, I weeded. And did my hair, and my face, and talked to Caine.

And read a little nie.

And I stopped being a grouch and am ready to now take control of my life...

I still feel like I don't have a say in being understood, but that's ok. My life could be a lot worse than it is, and so now I will apologize for the many posts today.

But there's no rule on how many posts you can have in a day, is there?

I was thinking today, and I realized:

There is so much hate in this world. There are so many things happening that don't need to happen.

So now I've decided to throw a little love out there, and tell you, I love you.

I might not even know you, (who knows if anybody will read this anyway,) but I love you, just the same.

And I want you to know, that no matter what people say, you are wonderful just the way you are. Because that's how God wanted you, and as I said before...

God doesn't make mistakes.

So Shine :)

I want a breakthrough.
A new life--
Somewhere different, with different people and different places.
I wish there was enough money to buy food
Or at least some new clothes.

But wishing is all I can do...

I'm not helpless, I'm not weak. I just give up.

They say I need to take the blame for my life,
But I have no say in whether I'm understood or not.

Sometimes I dream of New York, where nobody knows anybody, and everyone is allowed to be themselves, and stays out of each others' business. Unless you're a star.

And Juilliard.

Where I can lose myself in my music...I guess I could lose myself in my music here, its just not the same.

Sometimes there's no magic in my living room.

Please Wallow in the Symbolism

Personal

Maybe showering is a personal event. Okay, it is. And one may think that the sole purpose of a shower is to get clean.

But, when one is a Thespian, One's shower is spent memorizing lines. And they always seem to sound so much better. It must be the acoustics.

"Alright ladies, I think that's enough. Why don't you go on home, and be back here at sundown ready to dance your hearts out."

Its a mouthful, I know. But my hillbilly accent, inflections, and other details sounded so much better last night in the shower than they did onstage this morning, so I've now come up with a Master Plan of Destruction.

Minus the destruction.

Plan A: Record myself giving my lines in the shower, then play them back on the sound system, and lip sync.

Plan B: Refer back to Plan A.

Its foolproof!

Showers are also great for playing pretend. I even have a 12-step program for a joyful, relaxing, out-of-body showering experience.

Step 1: Go to Wal-Mart
Step 2: Buy Suave Naturals Refreshing Waterfall Mist shampoo and conditioner
Step 3: Take a shower with the lights off (Make sure you have a window in your bathroom)
Step 4: Do everything you normally do in the shower, saving conditioner for very last
Step 5: Put in conditioner
Step 6: Sit on the floor of your shower, facing away from the head
Step 7: Pull your knees up to your chest and close your eyes
Step 8: Imagine you are in the Amazon
Step 9: Imagine you are stuck in a monsoon in the Amazon
Step 10: Think about all the good things in your life
Step 11: Imagine you are safe being stuck in a monsoon in the Amazon (i.e. don't imagine lethal animals/fish/insects/etc. crawling up the drainpipe.)
Step 12: Make sure the conditioner is completely out of your hair before you get out

Its a wonderful program, and I try to enjoy it at least 3 times a week.

(Ahhhh.)

2 Posts In A Day?

See This Kid?

He's mine. :) All Mine.

This is my brother Creedence Carl, and he's awesome. He is also my twin.

Well, sort of. 

He's like the "Sister To My Soul" in guy form. My Bosom Buddy, Cohort, Partner in Crime, Compatriot, Chum, Pal, Joiner, Whatever. And as you can tell, we were supposed to be twins. Or siblings at least. But there was a little mix-up up there, and we must have lost track of each other and gotten in the wrong line or something because we came into this world alone.

But then we found each other! I sat behind the piano, and he got his legs tangled in the amp cords, and we made faces at each other at 7 am every other day all through my 8th grade year. And we realized we had so much in common that we had to have been twins and there was just a mistake.

But I don't really believe that, because God doesn't make mistakes. 

Let me tell you a little about Creedence. He plays bass. What kind of bass, you might ask? Well, THAT kind. Upright, Guitar, Clarinet, you name it, he plays it. He spends every waking minute playing his music.

Let me tell you a little about Myself. I play lots of things. What kind of things, you might as? Well, THAT kind. Piano, Organ, Violin, you name it, I play it. (Sorda) I spend every waking minute playing my music.

And so its the music that connects us. We are twins. In a musical, non-biological, awesome sort of way.

Oh and we're both incredibly random. He is King or Lord or Something of The Flying Rocks. I have a killer baby dinosaur impersonation.

He loves his Jack Skellington shirts, I love my stuffed cow. 

And so Ax Dun Go Tag That Sin, Creedence.

Rawr!

P.S. you don't have to get those last two lines. :)

Bi-Polar, Tang, Aliens, Etc..

Sometimes I believe I suffer from Bi-Polar disorder. Because this morning, I was not a happy camper. Correction: I was not a happy student. I did not go camping today. I ignored, blew off, and grumbled. I stomped down hallways like a dinosaur.

Because I am a dinosaur.

And then, I went to seminary. And that changed everything.

And then I was a happy camper. student. whatever.

(Plus, This Picture Makes Me Happy)

In drama, the boys decided to hide themselves in a curtain and pretend to be aliens, which I'm sure will become a common thespian pastime in the future. It made me happy too. I will upload the video soon, if I ever figure it out.

P.S. the man in the picture is my buddy. Or a penguin, your choice.

In bio, some kid brought Tang. It was good, and I think possibly spiked. Because Tang doesn't usually give me a stomach ache, but whatever. It was good. 

And Life Is Good.

Un-Dianoetic

I've found that the best way to answer your questions is to make up a story.

Because Susie's really good friend Bob doesn't understand what he's doing to her.

But when you get the answer you don't want, then you just go with intuition. And hope. Hope for a better tomorrow, a chance to reawaken, and a new independence.

Because I Am Not What They Say.

I am me, and the only one who is deciding who I am is me. I have my heart set on happiness, and no one can take that away from me.

My Mommy

Half the time the world is ending, truth is I am done pretending

I never thought that i had any more to give

Pushing me so far here i am without you

Drink to all that we have lost, mistakes that we have made

Everything will change, love remains the same
Love Remains the Same- Gavin Rossdale

This song reminds me of my mom, and how she is always loving me, no matter what happens, no matter what mistakes I make or how big of a drama llama I am. And so, in return, I love her back.

No Matter What.

I Love You, Mommy.

What's That?

Well you see...
I'm with my bestie here.
And she's awesome :)
Because sometimes, you get fired...
And you feel like a train wreck looks
But then your friend is right there!!!!!!!!!!!
And you start Going Crazy.
And she doesn't go to this party she really wants to go to because she loves you so much.
And then you're all the sudden glad you got fired a little bit.
Because you realize your boss is a grouch. Like Oscar.

Except he's a human, and doesn't live in a trash can. I think.

And so yeah....that's the story for today <3

Some Ramblings

Today my math teacher sang a song about finding volume. To the tune of Deck the Halls. And of course, had us sing it with him. It was quite interesting.

And now, I'm sitting here, watching Deal or No Deal, but pretending to do homework, and actually concentrating on writing this. And putting off going and getting a job, because I seem to have lost my confidence in my memorization skills. But I can tell you that the "Road Runner" is roasted turkey and cranberry sauce for $9.49! and it comes with mashed potatoes or fries and soup or a salad!

Yesterday, I played the violin for an hour and now I have blisters all over my fingers. I don't like blisters. They're all over my feet too, but getting them was worth it, because dang! Those shoes are cute.

Last week was Spring Break. And there were lots of park outings and sun. And I want summer more than ever now.
But summer is the bridge to actual high school. And I don't think I want that more than ever, so now I am in a little predicament.

An Inevitable Predicament.

With an inevitable solution.

And I'm not ready for that solution. Where does the time go?

<3 l.o.v.e <3

Hands

My favorite hands are my piano hands.

My piano hands have short stubby nails.
and short stubby thumbs.

but they have long fingers and velocity. 

and even though they can only reach a 9th I love and accept them, because they are me.
And they are the facilitator, the catalyst, the enabler, the architect of the symphonies in my head.

But they have one blatant, ragingly obvious fault, a bad habit they can't seem to overcome. They can never play the symphonies I dream.

I dream in music, usually. Superlative music. But as soon as I wake up, its gone.

And as I am writing this, I am holding back my tears, because after 365 dreams of fantastic, inspiring music its frustrating to sit at the piano, with my piano hands...

And just sit.




I have other hands, too. And I won't forget about them.

There are the hands that held a violin for the first time in 4 years today, and put their fingers in exactly the right spots, and felt that sensation that is there before the calluses come.

There are the hands that do yoga
The hands that untie knots
The hands that love to feel everything around them


And soak it all in through the fingertips.

I Should Be Doing Homework

First, some random thoughts:

So, I've noticed some things I always do. Like every morning I look at the clock and its either 6:49 or 7:06. And I always sneeze right after I put on mascara, and then I get those annoying black dots on my face. And I have this old radio in my bathroom to keep me company in the shower, and Africa by Karl Wolf comes on every time. And the station always changes right in the middle of the song. And whenever I do homework online, I always end up on facebook.

But doesn't everybody?

My drama coach insists on me playing the piano for her, and tries to tie in music with whatever we're doing.

It usually doesn't work.

But at least I got to play the can-can, and a couple of rag-time's and pretend I was in a saloon, and it was a good day.

Never dip a Skor bar in peanut butter, you'll regret it.

Now that I've gotten the randomness out of my head, here's the real deal:

I don't like The Call of the Wild. Its depressing, and somewhat dark, and I'm always worrying about Buck and his friends out in the bleak, icy tundras of Canada. And at the pace I'm reading, I don't think they'll ever get out. And Dave just died!
I hate that.
That's why I'm writing this post right now, because I don't want to know what happens next, even though I really want to get them out of the cold.

And so I got thinking. Why do we avoid and procrastinate so much? Why does my life is average seem so much more important than class until the deadline, when we stress ourselves out and breakout, and if we're girls we cry, and get headaches and such? It just doesn't make sense to me, and I feel so hypocritical, because I'm writing this instead of doing homework. And I'm chatting with two people on facebook. And I'm laughing at a very average MLIA. And I'm also seriously considering look at the Fail Blog, because right now, a laugh is more important than organ donations, and high honors reflections, and mitosis. But I just don't understand why? Hm.

But as soon as my mom will ask me if I've done my chores, I will tell her that I have homework. Because homework is more important than chores. We lead such contradictory lives, don't we?

Creativity

Just a small town girl
Livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train
Goin' half a mile an hour and I
Started staring at the passengers
And waving good bye
Because I'm more than some
Pretty face beside a train
Its not easy to be me

Well, uh, you done done me
And you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but
You're so hot that I melted
I fell right thru the cracks
And I want you to know
That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road,
Someone's gotta go
And I wish you'd just
Realize what I just realized
That we'd be perfect for each other

And you'd share with me the blankets
That you're wrapped in, cuz its
Cold outside, cold outside
Share with me the secrets that you kept in
Cuz its cold inside, you're cold inside
So I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

Hey Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song, and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
And you can start to make it better
Hey soul sister, ain't that mister mister
On the radio, stereo, the way you move,
I can't keep my eyes off of you and me
And all other people, with nothin to do
Nothin to lose and its you and me
And I'll swim the ocean for you,
The ocean for you
Whoa, Kelsey

Here comes the sun,
Here comes the sun , and I say
Its all right, its ok,
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry

* Don't Stop Believin'-- Journey * How Far We've Come -- Matchbox 20 * Superman-- Five For Fighting * I'm Yours-- Jason Mraz * Already Gone-- Kelly Clarkson * Realize-- Colbie Caillat * Vulnerable-- Secondhand Serenade * I'll Be-- Edwin McCain * Hey, Jude-- The Beatles * Hey, Soul Sister-- Train * You and Me-- Lifehouse * Kelsey-- Metro Station * Here Comes the Sun-- The Beatles * Its Alright, Its Ok-- Ashley Tisdale

Today

It sunned today.

I may have had a bad hair day (literally) but that doesn't matter.

Today I...
drove to school
hit Sri Lanka with a meter stick
ate lunch outside
got called a man by a teacher
got spit on twice! by the same teacher
got married
played kickball
stole a person
shot a teacher with a tinker toy gun
successfully held someone hostage
ran into an old stalker
AND
ate a peanut butter and grape-nut sandwich

It decided to stop sunning today, but at least I got a hint of summer.


Please Come Faster.

Rhetorical

I sit here.

And smile at how the snow is finally disappearing from the mountains.

And think.


The last term of my freshman year is starting tomorrow. Where does the time go? Its got me thinking of how much has happened this year, and how quickly things must have changed. If the school year started yesterday, then when did everything happen?

And then I wonder for a while.

And notice the mini tornado forming across the street. Which gets me wondering again. How does the world work?

And how does God know everything?